Poem I wrote
Emotionless living, without a care or dilemma,
Withdrawn from life, without a tremor.
All around you, people unaffected by your absence,
Every person oblivious, controlled by chance.
No-one quite knows what you’ve been through,
Yet they create their own profile of you.
Whilst here you stand, open to all,
Needless to say, they will never know how much you will fall.
Fall, under the impression that everything is fine,
If people showed that they cared, maybe you could shine.
As you would know that your existence is real,
You need not contemplate this dark deal.
In which you cease to know life’s fascination,
But instead, you should embrace it and have determination.
This is a message to all of those who care to read,
It is better to feel and nurture this need.
Seek love and feel this emotion,
It can keep you from loosing yourself, put it in motion.
Whatever you do, pay attention to everything around you,
You can distinguish a lie and what is true.
Discover what is needed in your life,
Whether it is a job, or a husband, or a wife.
To know great emotions, you must allow them in,
It can save you; in this battle, make sure you win.
That is my advice for everyone; don’t take the easy way,
Otherwise you may fall astray.
It may be harder, but it is for your own good,
You will have a life you never knew you would.
Thank you for reading all that I have said,
Try to heed these words, you’re better off not dead.
What I truly feel…
This new, wondrous feeling which comes from deep within my body, what emotion could possibly be so strong? It is love, in its infinite glory and power; the power to cleanse a life from the torment it suffers alone, but also the power to destroy all of which is needed in life like trust and relationships. Love has many meanings, yet the message is clear, once love between two people has been established, nothing should break them apart. This amazing form of love which I am about to contemplate now is the love between two friends who have known each for almost all their lives. One of them, a guy; Insecurities and fear haunt him, as he is destined not to know what love feels like – or so he feels –
The other, a girl; she is the one girl who he truly feels affection for, he would do anything for her, yet it’s never good enough, she never feels the same way he does. He just wishes that he could make her happy, save her from all daunting things in her life, allowing her to live a care free life, preferably with him. Although, truthfully he knows that this will never happen. This beautiful girl (in his eyes at least) doesn’t wish to be with him, and despite whatever the guy does, he can never change the way she feels, as it is what makes her unique, without being controlled by other people, how could he be happy if he changed her when all he wants is for her to be free?
I tell you now, love is hard to achieve, it must be fought for, but what is the point when all hope of being loved by that one person in your life is futile, without a happy ending. But I also tell you this, what I speak of, is this vision of love felt by every person who loves their partner or a person they want to be with? No. This is how I imagine love; no matter how hard you try, in my case, that same girl will always be in my thoughts, half of the time it doesn’t matter to me whether I am her boyfriend or whether I just spend time with her, after all, that’s all I ever want to do.
I think that she is beautiful, and I know a lot about her as she is my best friend. Is it wrong to feel this way when you know that person doesn’t want to be with you? I see it as acceptable providing that you don’t force a relationship upon them; just because I feel this way about my best friend, it doesn’t mean that it is awkward to be with her and it doesn’t mean I will make her love me, that is not love between two people, that is love of one and pain of another. I can embrace my feelings and my actions often no longer have to be reasoned, as she now knows why I will do anything for her. If she says something, I will do it, just to make her happy! If she needs help, I would run to her house if need be and if she wants someone to talk to, at whatever time she wants, she can. For I don’t wish to sleep and escape from these emotions, I know that I can’t be with her… yet it doesn’t feel bad, I am happy, knowing that she has not cast me away, we have not grown further apart due to this, which is what I was so terribly scared of. If having these emotions means that I can act in ways to make her happy which I wouldn’t usually do, then that is what I want. Even if it gets to the point in which I am suffering and lonely, I will not stop feeling this way, or expressing my feelings in subtle ways. As even if she does not wish to be with me, I know that it still gives a person happiness to feel loved and to have someone there when you need them (even if you can’t admit it).
All of this which I speak about, I call it ‘love’. However, I am only young, I don’t truthfully know what love is, as I have never loved anyone before and neither have they loved me. What I do know is that I like her for who she is, and the possibility of me being able to make her happy enhances this feeling. For what I want to gain from this is her happiness, and mine along with it, that is what I see as love. Not, some complex consortium of separate feelings or inexpressible and incomprehensible knowledge of how you are going to live your life in this relationship, but simple happiness, and as we all know, happiness can disintegrate as easily as it created.